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BLOG POST January 2025
For 47 years, I’ve walked a path shaped by the necessity of being adequate—playing by the rules, fitting in, and looking good while doing it (because that was the main thing that was expected of me). Only in the last couple of years have I ignited a quiet revolution within myself, recognizing and rejecting the patterns instilled in me for so long. These patterns, born of a patriarchal upbringing, influenced my personality profoundly.
And before you ask—no, this isn’t about blaming the men in my family. This is about answering a deep, soul-stirring call to finally be unapologetically me. But that brings us to the million-dollar question:
Who Even Am I?
Figuring out who I am feels a bit like excavating an ancient artifact while blindfolded. For decades,I’ve collected voices—some mine, some borrowed—that all clamor for attention.Distinguishing the “real me” from the “acquired me” is no small task. It’s like peeling back layers of wallpaper in an old house, only to discover a mural of questionable taste underneath. But here’s the thing: my heart knows the truth, even while my brain plays the part of an overbearing tour guide who insists on narrating everything.
The heart whispers, the mind shouts, “I know it all!” My job? To listen, allow, and let go.
The Gift of Change
Change, my friends, is life’s way of keeping us humble, pushing us out of our comfort zones and into growth. No, it is absolutely not easy; it’s messy, unpredictable, and completely out of our control (which is why we constantly try to avoid it) It’s the cosmic plot twist no one asked for, yet everyone gets. Change forces us to surrender—to stop clutching the reins and let the horse wander a bit. And let me tell you, life is one wild horse.
Every relationship, every moment, every slightly over cooked batch of cookies offers an opportunity to practice letting go. Parenting? A masterclass in surrender. Marriage? A full-on doctoral program in accepting the unknown.
In 2025, I’m buckling up for some major shifts, both emotional and hormonal. Oh yes, menopause is insight, and it’s not playing around. My hormones are acting like tiny, irritable dictators—randomly staging coups over my mood. One minute I’m crying over the most beautiful sunset; the next, I’m snapping at the toaster for burning my bread. And just when it feels like everything’s on fire, a small voice whispers:
“Peace is near. Surrender, and you’ll be free.”
But What Does Freedom REALLY Mean?
Freedom isn’t about external circumstances; it’s about mindset. It means letting go of the need to control, the fear of judgment, and the weight of self-doubt. It’s about saying“fuck it” to perfectionism and embracing life as it is. Living in the moment without wanting it to be different, even when it’s uncomfortable… It’s about embracing the impermanence of it all. The good, the bad, and the weird—it’s all temporary. And not only that: by changing my perspective I can flip the coin and own it. Embrace it.
When we accept that nothing is permanent, we unlock the ability to open our hearts – because closed hearts are not free. They are trapped by the narrative of the mind.
Think about those midnight bathroom trips. You stumble out of bed, convinced the shadows are hiding a monster ready to pounce. Then you flip on the light, and oh look, it’s just your laundry chair pretending to be scary. Freedom is that light switch moment—the realization that most of the fear is in your head.
So here’s the plan: more“let it go” and less “let me control everything.” More “yes to life” and less“no to anything uncomfortable.” Vulnerability paired with the confidence to say, “This is me, take it or leave it” might just be the secret sauce to freedom.
Vulnerability—paired with the confidence of knowing who you are—is the most powerful gift you can give yourself. This year, and every year to come, I vow to live with an open heart, embracing change and standing fearlessly in my truth.
With love,
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